Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Bring me that man meat
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
