Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
