GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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