You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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