With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
