Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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