Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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