Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
