OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
