READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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