Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
