What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
