Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
