Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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