God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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