I bet he comes in French.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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