Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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