i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
