Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
