I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
