dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
