I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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