yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
