it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
