we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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