Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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