I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
