best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
