Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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