No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
babies were throwing up all over the place
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
