I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
