Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
