The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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