How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
