I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
