Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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