I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
