Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
