Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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