i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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