I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
