i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize