11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
