how can u be prego again
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
