So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
