I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
high people should be assigned attendants
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
