Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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