YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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