Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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