Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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