I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
