She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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