The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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