he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it was like eating out sand paper
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
