Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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