i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
