Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
