i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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