Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
