we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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