This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
