i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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