is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
