Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
