speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
