Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
