ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
