wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
