I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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