I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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