found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
