Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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