I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
