you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
