shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
